I volunteer every week, I put others before myself, etc. I stopped working after our 2nd child because his hours were so irregular and there was no predictability to his schedule. I have known many women who have married non-members and are happy. It was not just frustrating but also saddening and stressful. He probably hates even the memory of me for getting him in that stupid church. Mormons are one of the few remaining groups with healthy women. We learn sooooooo much from each other.
Then she took a vacation to Utah and in her letter to me she stated that she had seen the Temple, and I never heard from her again. My advice is, as others have said, have no expectations, expect that you will spend the majority of holidays, birthdays, family gatherings, valentines day, anniversaries alone or with other family or friends. Indeed, it is the loneliness and the lack of time to have intimacy or feel connected with one another that scares me for our future. If you can genuinely deconvert her then cool. If you marry him, you are committing to accepting him without the church and all that this entails. The LDS Church encourages that young women explore their options and meet all different kinds of people. Although most of our communication is through text. Great payback for my support during residency and multiple moves.
That being said, we have built something beautiful and good, have modeled loving responsibility and accountability to our kids, and I am certain I am with the man God chose for me. She has to decide for herself what she believes, but you can definitely help expose her to new ideas. I even had someone tell me I should know better than to marry a nomo.
I am literally too lazy to get up and get the computer. Easily found in most hospital lobbies. He will have to wait outside if his children marry in the temple. On her mind, her eternal salvation depends on marrying a worthy priesthood holder.